That was the line that my friend told me a few days ago. I was feeling really down these past few days. I missed home, I was stressed out because of exams, I was lonely, I was broken until I lost my self-image. The depressing thoughts always attacked me until I cannot take it anymore that I even thought of ending my life. Stupid isn't it?
Just yesterday I talked to my friend online and he knew I wasn't okay. But he just said, "Appreciate now!" At first, I told him I can't! How am I suppose to appreciate life when it's all depressing?! He then told me what happened to him. I was shocked. I thought he was okay. But upon hearing the news that he was diagnosed with some type of disorder made me think deeply. He encouraged me in someway. When I asked him if he's alright, he told me that he's fine. I told him to get a treatment or just do a check-up or something. He said he will but he exclaimed that he will be enjoying every single day without thinking there's something wrong with him. I was touched.
I reflected on his words. He has faith. He was struck by a disease and yet he rejoiced; but I, on the other hand, only encountered stress and I thought that's the end of the world already. Depressed people didn't think ahead. They only think of themselves. They thought that problems only struck them and because it's painful for them, they thought that it's better to end it. But what about others? They didn't think that it'll affect people around them, such as family members, loved ones, and friends. They didn't believe that God created them to bless others. Here I am, talking like a "holy" person, and yet I can't believe that I had thoughts of ending my life. But hey..don't worry..I realized that I still have a purposeful life to live. God reminded me of so many things before I make that "foolish" decision.
He said:
1. Remember you wanna spoil your kids?
2. Remember you're going to write books?
3. Remember you're going to speak to millionares and billionares?
4. Remember you're going to be a model?
5. Remember you're going to be a motivator?
6. Remember you're going to take over the school and make legacies?
etc etc etc..
I was dumbfounded. I nodded and told God, "Hey, God! You're right. It's not the time yet to die." I had so many things that I haven't accomplished yet and the prophecies have not been fulfilled yet. The thought of it strengthened me. It actually cleared my mind of dying early.
Sometimes, I would also think that I'll die early, like in a car-crash, or plane-crash, or something. But, with this as a "pegangan hidup", I am so sure that God still wants me to live. He has a great destiny for me, and I don't have to worry a single thing.
Wow. It actually applies to my second exam paper. Why do people have religions? That question kept on bothering me for the whole month. I don't have a perfect answer and I really want to hear your answer. And what is religion to you? If you say that it's a belief, then what's it meant by free-thinker? Don't you know that free-thinkers also have a belief?
Hope this post blesses ya'll and motivate ya'll to live a purposeful life. We're not called to just populate the Earth. We have a purpose.
Be blessed.
______and happy studying! d;
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