who i am hates who i've been.

Yesterday was the last day of GESL execution. We went to a student care center in Bishan and we conduct the activities for them. For the first day, they all went to NIE and we conduct sports workshops and amazing race for them. It was really exhausting. I can feel my face turning red. We've became shrimps and crabs! ><"

57 children joined this 2-day camp. It was my first time experiencing a life with real Singaporean kids. PHEW! I'm telling ya, they're very different from what I've expected and what I've experienced. These kids are intelligent and not only that, they are really exposed to the world around them. Imagine, a 6-year-old boy saying the "S" word when something happens. AND ... he KNOWS what it means! I was quite shocked at first, but I thought over it and I found out that their school was joined with the secondary school. And moreover, Singapore is a small country, so basically, everyone gets influenced by one another.

The more I worked with these kids, the more I came to a realization that these kids need more than just academics, they need values. I was quite thankful that my previous school implanted very good values over my life, which is being family-oriented. I see how lives can truly change when there is parents' involvement. Like my previous principal always says, "You can put kids in school, but the most crucial change they can ever accomplish is when they're at home. Teachers only spend 9-5, but parents spend 24/7. Who do you think will make a greater impact?"

Well, I really don't know how to change the perspectives of parents here, since the condition of living is very different from back home. But I just acknowledged a revelation that really struck me deep. If God really wants me to serve here, then whatever His plan is, I'll do it. Even if I have to stay here for another 2 years after my studies, I'll go for it. It's not about me, it's all about others and expanding the Kingdom. Seriously, I just have to talk to my parents about this, coz even though I'm only here for several years, at least I'm making a difference. I don't wanna leave Singapore without making an impact. Geez.. it's a waste of time, and I believe that I'm called to be different. (Not dumb-different!!! -some of you know what I mean and I guess you're laughing now! =P).

But you know what, this is not me 2 years ago. This is a little of me a year ago and this is the REAL me now. Ever since I gave up my future to God and let Him do the moulding, I grew up trusting Him and believing that He has the best for me. Doesn't that make life easier? No worries, and all you do is just have faith and speaking the positives about your future? It is for me.

If you turn on that music up there, the title is "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K, it speaks to me personally. Before, I am a care-less person. My parents always scolded me for being irresponsible, and they always say that irresponsibility means you don't care about what others think, feel, and expect. I didn't heed that warning. I mean, yeahh.. I'm a "who cares" person before until I gave up my choice of entering university last year. I also don't know why I did that, but I guess God really struck me by not giving me any IDEA of what I'm gonna major in. So, I ended up teaching K3 (3 year olds) for a year in my school. Throughout the whole year, I was really blessed and I learnt new things, and because of that experience, I must gladly say that it brought me here ... to Singapore, in NIE.

Confession, baby ... My life is just full of miracles ever since I commit myself to serve as a kindergarten teacher last year. The journey of being Angelene Tjoandi now isn't the same like the Angelene Tjoandi few years ago. Which is why I put the song in ... Who I am hates who i've been! I see my past as lessons to be learnt and never to be repeated, and my now is a step to achieve a greater future. In brief, miracles happen when you believe that you're called to do something great. And truly, get down and humble yourself to serve and without you realizing it, you'll get popularity, fame, honor, and most importantly satisfaction that you've ever desired, and God'll see that and bless you a thousand fold.

A life to the fullest. A purposeful one.